Firstly let me apologise for the delay in getting this post out to you all! I have been away and have been sorting my "sh1t" out!
Since I got back from Montreux I had an amazing realisation. It was such a great realisation that I knew I had to share it with you!
I was walking around Zurich on a very hot day when it first started to dawn on me that life was looking up. I realised that despite the intense heat, I wasn't over heating and had walked miles without feeling fatigued or , dare I say it, almost unwell like had hit me before. Whilst showering that evening to get ready for supper, I reflected on my day. It hit me that I'd not had any hot flushes all day and that , in fact, I had hardly had any for a while. I had previously taken my own advice on how to eat to avoid those pesky flushes and it was working a treat! I then realised that I had also been more comfortable at night in bed. Now I'm not pretending I don't get the odd hot moment when I first settle into bed, but, the best part is I am no longer waking up drenched in sweat and feeling sick! How amazing is that?
Once I was back in the UK I knew it was time to get on top of my fitness. I felt like I was ready. I'm not unfit but during the darkest days I had completely lost my mojo, put on weight and had totally lost my confidence. I am not used to being out of shape so I began to investigate gyms. I have always loved training in the gym, enjoying how it works for my body and mind as well as being a place to see regulars and chat. Now, I have to be honest because I am never going to pretend I lead a perfect, glossy Instagram life, but it took me 3 weeks after I found the gym I wanted to join before I hit the "join" button on my phone! Its funny because I think sometimes that you have to wait for the exact moment that feels right to take a big step. The next morning I caught the bus into Wandsworth full of trepidation. I felt incredibly awkward walking in for the first time. Luckily another member was walking in at the same time and he helped me find the changing rooms and even showed me around. Later on he came over to check I was alright. The gym manager also came and found me and we chatted like old friends. Before I'd even left I felt welcomed and a sense of belonging which for me is essential. I have to say that when I did my first work out I felt euphoric., I also felt rusty! Once I got home I checked out the gym app and booked an induction.
I'm not going to make out that getting back in the gym was easy. In my very humble opinion , it takes a degree of courage to walk in . But...if you find the right gym you can overcome your anxiety easily enough.
If you have reached that place where you are read to exercise again but want to do it at home check out my top 5 you tube fitness stars.
Another thing that is coming back to me is getting past the occasional agoraphobia I was experiencing. I'd put money on it that I am not the only one of us who throughout peri meno and initial post meno found they were cancelling appointments because we were too nervous about getting out in public. I certainly went through it. I'd like to take this opportunity to thank all my friends who put up with me during this! As the ag' moments have decreased I have enjoyed life far more. Last week I arranged to meet a lovely local artist, Jo Holdsworth, at an exhibition. Usually I would have chickened out but I went along. I'm so glad I did as I met the most wonderfully creative and intelligent woman. We had so much in common and have planned to keep in touch. Isn't that wonderful? I bought some of her stunning cards too so I have a pictorial memory of the day.
One more thing before I finish......the brain fog is lifting! It has been probably one of the most distressing aspects of this period of my life. I am by trade an academic lawyer and have always been proud of my sharp brain. The fog hasn't completely gone but I am getting much better at recalling facts again. That makes me very happy as I found it distressing and frustrating.
I'm not going to tell you that everything gets better over night. It doesn't. It happens over time. But what I can tell you is that there is a bright line shining at the end of the menopause tunnel!
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Wishing you all a wonderful day!
Remember ,"refuse to be invisible"
Janie S xxx
Blogger, Writer, Commentator